We have a Winner

It had to happen, after all the panic, anxiety and cardboard box purchasing; we bought an apartment.
I am petrified. I have never been more nervous in my life, nor have I ever owned anything more valuable than a computer - and that was a gift. Even my bike was bought at the annual police auction from the lost and found.
I keep trying to calm myself down with the thought that the bank actually owns 80% of it.

It is not helping.

I have gonged the gong bowl.

I switched to 70% decaf.

Watched funny movies.

I have stretched, practiced yoga, applied acupressure, eaten healthy.

I have read every newspaper I know online to make myself grateful for how blessed we are.
I have looked into all the self help books I have lying around (and that is a lot of books), I've gone to the library.
I have knitted.
I have organized the bills, the tool box, the sowing kit.
I have made a couple of different iron-on decals.
I have ironed on the iron-on decals.
It is not helping.
There is no help for how to deal with horror that overwhelms you when you actually fulfill a life long dream.
I felt a similar tingle when we got married, but I thought that was just the whole big hoopla that always surrounds weddings. Also, there was a slight hint of this when I got my degree. But this is now three days of tummy-ache-hand-wringing-jaw-clenching-craziness.
There is no question that the apartment isn't the right one, I knew it was, just like I never doubted that I wanted to spend my life with my husband and that I wanted to get a degree even though it definitely shook up our lives.
This is the one.

In Fact this does resemble the early days of courtship far more than any materialistic satisfaction I was expecting.
Could it be I'm falling in love with an apartment?