Whether the Weather is Normal

- Compliments and Complaints, good morning. How may I direct your call?
- Um, I don't know, uh, the weather is just really weird.
- One moment, please hold.
Muzak.
- Curses and Miracles. This is Vanessa speaking, how may I help you?
- Oh I don't know if this is the right department.
- What seems to be the problem, Miss?
- I prefer Ms.
- Of course you do, all single women over a certain age do. Now what can I do for you today, Miss?
- I'm not single. I simply refuse to be define by my marital status.
- Very good, that is a complaint for the Lamenting Feminist Department, please hold while I redirect your call.
- No! Wait!
Muzak.
- Lamenting Feminists and Other Whiny Liberal Leftist Commie Pinkos. This Sandy speaking, how may I help you?
- I was just going to file a complaint about the weather but I might toss in a line or two about the backlash while I am at it.
- Will that be regarding women's rights, worker's rights or the environment?
- Uh, ok, the Icelandic Minister of Finance appointed four men and no woman to the committee for financial development, just weeks after he appointed yet another man to the Supreme Court even though there were equally qualified women to choose from. There are 7 men and two women serving. That sucks!
- Yes it does. Anything else I can help you with today, miss?
- Well don't you think that is wrong?
- Yes, is there anything else I can do for you, miss?
- Stop calling me miss, prefer Ms.
- Of course you do, all single women over a certain age do.
- No that is not it, I am married, oh for heaven's sake, never mind. The weather is being really weird.
- One moment, please hold while I re-direct your call.
Muzak.
- Curses and Miracles. This is Vanessa speaking. How may I help you?
- Hi Vanessa, we spoke just a minute ago. (pause) Hello?
- Hello. How may I help you today, miss?
- It is snowing. And really cold. Like minus 1 degrees Celsius. Isn't...
- Pardon me for interrupting miss, we use Fahrenheit only on the Heaven Hotline, could you convert that please?
- Oh I think it is like uh, 29 degrees?
- Ahem. And what is your problem with that miss?
- Well it is only October 18th. Isn't that like a month early?
- Where are you calling from?
- Iceland.
- One moment please.
Muzak.
- Hello Miss?
- Yes I am still here.
- Now first let me say that this isn't really the right department for your complaint. Next time ask for "Weather related avenges of biblical proportions" department. But I decided to pull the file on Iceland for you as a favor. According to the computer that weather is correct.
- Really?
- Yes. 60% of first born children in your country are born out of wedlock. You have state run health care and free abortion. We have decided to start the "Smack'em over the head with freaky weather process" early to get folks on the straight and narrow.
- Oh.
- Now will there be anything else, miss?
- Ah. No. No thank you.
- Thank you for calling The Heaven Hotline and have a heavenly day!

Sweden has No Army

LOL.
Those of you willing to sign into the NY times online edition must read this side splitting story by Ron Suskind about how Dubya insisted that Sweden has no army.
Reminds me of my Swedish friend who claimed he was too artistic for the Swedish Army and got the army psychologist to agree, thus avoiding entering mandatory service.
That's right, not only does Sweden have an army, but they have mandatory service for all males over 18 (age 16 if the country is at war, which they have avoided for 200 years).
Iceland has no army. Our Minister of Justice and Ecclesiastical Affairs really-really-really wants one to play with - somewhat forgetting the Ecclesiastical part of his job. Suppose Iceland would indeed have an army according to the same percentage most countries have, I think we are looking at somewhere between 150 to 300 soldiers.
I may be wrong, as I do not remember the numbers exactly, but I think most people would expect Iceland to have a fairly small army due to the minute size of the population. So would it then be fiscally responsible to have an army, that by size alone would be rendered impotent, on the off chance that some the twisted country with serious ego issues really-really-really wants to go to war with us?
Or worse, being in The Coalition of the Willing, would it be ethically responsible to send our young men and women half way across the world to die for oil?

Come Fly with Me

Last night we watched one of the funniest movies I have ever seen; Come Fly with Me.
Actually, I watched this romp in technicolor extravaganza while The Husband was obsessing further about bushy bulges - right next to me on the couch thanks to our wireless Internet(s).
Wireless Internet rocks. Rocks the boat too, as only the laptop is hooked to it and we sometimes squabble over whose turn it is. He tends to forget that it is supposedly MY LAPTOP.
Come Fly with Me is one of those movies that must have been barely credible when it was made in 1963 - or so I assume, since 1963 is before my time - but in this day and age it is utterly bizarre. It tells the tale of three stewardesses, their well cut suits and freakish romances. There is diamond smuggling, German accents and slapping of hysterical women (a custom that surely must reappear soon as it seems so practical). Furthermore the story has plenty of innuendo and chastity concerns. Obviously the only one who gets in real trouble is the slutty blonde who spends the night in a hotel room with an Austrian. And the skanky ho smokes cigarettes in the airplane to boot! Remember those days when the smoking section of any airplane was total party central? Ah, the smell.
We're about to do some flying ourselves. Going off to the big ol' US of A. And right now I can think of about a gazillion other places I'd rather be in. The new apartment topping that list.
The election hype. The the election campaign. The commercials. The terror alert that surely will be elevated to purple magenta in order to instill maximum fear.
But there is family business to attend to and there is no changing it.
I just wish Icelandair had snazzy turquoise uniforms or at least a dashing pilot that will come out and slap me if/when I get hysterical.
Yessireebob, I am prone to aviophobia, I just thank the Good Whomever for small favors - she/he/it didn't bestow me with the gift of ablutophobia.