Had I been a smart girl I would have skipped secondary school and gone straight to vocational school to become a
plumber. Instead, I was a dumbass and got excellent grades - I mean, grades, what are they good for? Who gives a flying Dutchman?- then I got even more stupid and went ahead and got an edumacation, in ARTS of all useless things!
Seriously. Arts.
When did you ever hear anyone screaming "Help! We need someone to analyze this text!"?
Didn't think so.
Yes, yes, humanity needs art to evolve blah blah.
Just think of all the things I could have accomplished if I had become a plumber. Firstly,
no student loans (being that in the country I was in at the time, vocational school was free). I could have entered the work force at 19 instead of being a useless, whiny kid until, well, now, my early thirties (barring some years in my twenties spent hurling drinks at people, very useful).
Secondly, I would have paid lots of taxes by now, not to mention lots and lots into a decent retirement fund. The way things look now I will be eating nothing but Ramen noodles in my old age, while being audited by the tax authorities for the 43rd time.
Thirdly, I could remodel our bathroom and fix the leaking faucet in the kitchen.
Agent Language Genius and I have discussed this quite a bit. ALG even went so far as to secure herself a trainee spot in a plumbing company. Unfortunately, the company was situated in the American South and she finally had to come to terms that even with the lure of a free trainee placement, she would never last in the Bible Belt.
Despite our different backgrounds we realize that we were both fooled by the academic dream. In our childhood we were often told that academic success was the only measure of a person's intelligence. Not so much by our families - even though they did their fair share of preaching- but as much by the school environment and society in general. I even have friends my age who seriously believe that their college degree means they are somehow smarter than others, yet they cannot pay their own credit card bills. One of them uttered the classic "If everybody could go to college, then everybody would have better jobs and make more money"...That is fantastic, but who is left to clean the streets? Drive cabs? Attend to your every whim at the department stores? How about making sure they get decently paid for the work they do instead?
Those who are academically curious will go to college anyway.
Alas, therein lies my Catch 22. As much as I love fixing things and puttering about, as much do I love being a good student. Argh.
However, right now, I really really wish I were a
plumber so I could build us a new bathroom without risking the lives of innocent people.
