Episode 46

In yesterday's episode of "Locked in the Fridge" our Dashing Princess was was cursed by the Wicked Wizard of Cable and in order to lift the curse she was told to make a special trip to Faraway Land to pick up a Magic Box.

Earlier that day a friendly witch had flown into town and requested an audience in the new palace.

Our Fearless Heroine went to sleep after pouring a magical potion into the bathtub to loosen up the horrific block that had ruined her morning showers.

Today's Episode of LOCKED IN THE FRIDGE brought to you by Jacob's, the Makers of Jacob's Fig Rolls and Jacob's Cream Crackers.

The Princess awoke to a dreary morning, knowing that she would have to catch one of the Yellow Pumpkin Wagons to go to Faraway Land. She washed herself in the bathtub noticing - as the grimy water reached her knees - that the magical potion had not worked at all. She decided that such a slip of bad luck would not ruin her day. Braving the icky muggly weather curse, she walked briskly to the Pumpkin stop, only to realize that she had just missed one.
So she waited.
The next Pumpkin was not only late, but dreadfully slow and made her trip to Faraway Land even longer. Picking up the Magic box was easy, it seemed that the goblins of The wicked Wizard of Cable had been told to smile and hand the Magic Box over without making trouble. She happily turned to make the trip back, hardly noticing the pissing rain finding its way down the small gap between her collar and her neck. She was even blissfully arrogant about the fact that a Pumpkin whizzed right by her as she approached the stop. Instead, she turned around and went to pick up delicious treats from the nearby village market.
Once seated, although not very securely, on the Pumpkin, a Carrier Pigeon came flying towards her with an important message from the Friendly Witch. However, just as the Heroic Princess was unraveling the message, the Carrier Pigeon ran out of Juice and fell dead to the ground.
Not knowing what the message from the Friendly Witch was, the Princess rushed home with the Magic Box and all her packages from the market. Once home, she was greeted by a letter in her electronic mail informing her that the Friendly Witch had to cancel the audience.
Perturbed by the fact that she had rushed out of bed in order to be able to pick up the Magic Box before the arrival of the Friendly Witch, our Heroine sulked around the palace for a while.
Then she decided that playing with the Magic Box might pick her up. The Handsome Prince climbed down from his Ivory Tower to help her open the Box. Alas the Magic Box turned out to be less than Magic. It did not bring her images from her two favorite places such as BBC or S1.
She sent Carrier Pigeon after Carrier Pigeon to Faraway Land but to no avail, until finally one came back and told her to simply connect two cables. This did not help.
Finally she decided that it would have to suffice and gave up.
Now, in a frightful mood, she went to the kitchen. Perhaps some lovely focaccia with fresh mozzarella would lift her spirits.
That was how she found out that the newly purchased Swift Oven was entirely broken.
Luckily, shortly thereafter her Sister, the Princess of Handball, contacted her and they had a lovely chat.

Otherwise the Princess might have unleashed her terrible powers and nobody would have been safe from her wrath.

Will her Magic Box work or will the Princess have to make another trip to Faraway Land?
Will her Swift Oven be easily exchangeable or will our Heroine have to use her powers on the sales minion?
Will the Prince survive on a diet of Cinnamon Buns?

STAY TUNED for the next episode of:
LOCKED IN THE FRIDGE

Thwack Thwack

Thwack.
a. It seems impossible for me to link others. Have made several attempts and apparently There were errors. Or so it says. Am convinced this is revenge for my making fun of "the internets"- Bulgy! Listen, I'm sorry I made fun of your lack of technical knowledge.

b. Due to move we decided to finally cave in and get cable. New place is far away from any half decent video rental place. We sorely miss our old one which was not only around the corner, but had incredibly good prices and a decent updated selection. The following discussion took place an hour ago between myself (E) and cable person (CP), over the phone (it was preceded by radio instead of Muzak)
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E: Hi, I was wondering, we seem unable to find a couple of the stations, we set the descrambler and we had them at one point but now they seem to have vanished, I was wondering...
CP: Yes, do you know which ones?
E: National Geographic, well...some of the music stations... as well as Fox Kids, not that we really care but...
CP: Yes, National Geographic is off the air.
E: But what, why?
CP: Have you heard of Digital Iceland?
E: Yes...
CP: Because we are changing over to Digital Iceland all stations bar six will be off the air by tomorrow.
E: But I only signed on with you 20 days ago, I called you like a million times because we had an old descrambler and then we had to make a special trip to pick up a new descrambler and NOBODY even mentioned this.
CP: You can come and pick up a new digital descrambler tomorrow here in Lynghals, if you want.
E: How much is it?
CP: Since you don't have a 12 month deal...
E: I DO HAVE a 12 month deal.
CP: Really? According to the computer you don't.
E: I do.
CP: Oh. Let me change that. Ok, then the new digital box is free of charge.
E: But I have to come all the way out there to pick it up? I don't have a car.
CP: You can wait, if you want. Between the 5th and the 10th we will have operators going around installing new digital boxes and picking up the old ones free of charge.
E: But we especially need the cable news stations next week.
CP: For the elections, you mean.
E: Yes.
CP: We will be showing CNBC free of charge during election night.
E: But not CNN?
CP: No.
E: BBC?
CP: No.
E: But that was part of the reason we signed on to begin with.
CP: Then you should come and pick up a cable box.
E: You realize, it is quite far, I don't have a car and I only just picked up the other box.
CP: I'm sorry but the company can't keep track of whether or not people have a car.
E: That is hardly the point. The point is I only got this 20 days ago and nobody even mentioned that I might have to exchange it or that stations were going to be shut off. I mean...
CP: To make up for that we are offering the new digital channels for the same price as the old ones. You get 32 instead of 12. For three months.
E: But I don't need that many, I just want the ones I signed up for...Never mind.
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I am being punished for my previous blogs, I swear.
BTW, explosive stuff- play the video.

27

Days have passed since I promised to look into the whole blog rolling thingy. I'm a dumbass. I don't get it. The search for a better equipped brain continues.

New York City

Is still the best city in the world. At the risk of sounding like a speaker at the GOP convention, I have to say, NYC rocks.
No matter how blah I felt about going there, it is always refreshing and revitalizing to be there (the months after 9.11 excluded).
I can happily announce that the aviophobia seems to have disappeared, so there was no need for handsome pilots slapping me across the face. Besides, the captain was female, so it would have just turned into a cat fight.
I had a couple of true NYC moments, most of them involving pizza in some form or another.

There was the full out screaming-fest between a customer and a waitress at the pizza place we had dinner at Friday night after being all cultural and having drinks at the Met.
There was the guy who scared the sh*t out of me only to hand me the glove I dropped (happened right after two slices of white pie, so it counts).
There was the older, like much older, guy hitting on my friend The Grouch while The Grouch and I were trying to have pizza. He was complaining about the Yankees losing AND telling us how he likes to sit in the window seats to watch the girls . Since The Grouch is not only married but hates baseball intensely and we like to eat without gross comments about male ogling techniques, the guy had three strikes and was out the second he opened his mouth.
There were tons and tons of Kerry buttons, stickers and flags and only two Bush supporters as far as I noticed, one sitting next to me having pizza (argh and no, not gross baseball guy). The other was walking in the East Village, and only a suicidal maniac would endorse the GOP in the East Village, so perhaps he doesn't count.
A lot of time was spent rummaging through stores for stuff for the new home, and my anal retentive streak got some serious quality time at The Container Store, & Bed, Bath and Beyond. Other than that I tried not to be too material. To no avail, we had an extra suitcase on the way home. But honestly, I only bought things we really needed, like a fancy new salad spinner.
Oh, who am I trying to fool? I may be all like "Share the wealth!" but I am just a greedy little bugger at heart.
The Grouch and I got in some hours of staring into space and eating, which is the best measure of true friendship for me. The more relaxed silent staring the better.
By the weekend The In Laws arrived and we had a good time, walking around, catching a movie, and having really good food and, yes, pizza.
All in all a true NYC experience: a smidgen of rudeness, a pinch of sirens, a little culture, some shopping, a whole lot of love and tons of pizza.