Whatever the Noise is that Cows Make

Because, unbelievable but true, someone did it again! That makes three in less than six months. Un-friggin-believable.
Once again I was asked if I was preggers! I thought I would be in the clear for a while now that one of my cousins is in the family way.
But No!
It makes me want to go tie my tubes. Just so that I could say people; "Pregnant, me? Oh, no I had my tubes tied."
And then watch as they scramble for the next comment.

A couple of days later I was trying on jeans. It is very hard to feel the unconditional love for my body that I normally feel while trying on a pair of jeans.
According to most major jeans manufacturers my legs are short, which I would argue that they are not, even though I am on the shorter side of average. However, short is relative, I mean, compared to 500 million Chinese women I am probably quite tallish.
Also, according to major jeans manufacturers, my lovely pear shaped is huge, which I find hard to believe since my BMI is 23.5.

And lately, I have been sleeping way too much, with crazy fatigue setting in around two and lasting all night. I even fell asleep during the short meditation following yoga. Like, totally crashed. I fear I may have snored.

Ergo, I am a cow, all I am good for is producing offspring, sleeping and not wearing jeans. Which we all know are the distinctive features of cows.