Fairy Tale
What I really wanted to do was to buy the hideous pink t-shirt that said "I'm a Fairy".
But giving this particular t-shirt to this particular 1 year old boy would have been pointless.
Not only because his parents are really not the kind of people who need my self righteous gender lesson - after all the father is on a six month paternity leave - but because the point, I fear, would have been lost upon just about everyone.
And, really, a birthday present should never be about making a point, a gift should always be joyous and heartfelt.
It is just sad that little boys are not allowed to be fairies, they can only be mythical creatures if they are valiant and kill someone in the process. At the same time, we all know that a boy who is a fairy is gay - oh! The Horror! Personally I would rather my son turn out to be gay than a murderer, but hey that is just me.
The socially constructed gender categorizes children before they can even say their own name. Girls are sweet and soft, boys are rough and tumble and that is the way it should be. Except, are they?
When I was four years old there was a real bully, Benjamin, in my kinder garten who told me that girls could not wear jeans nor watch McCloud. Up until that moment I hadn't really thought about either one of those options. Luckily, I felt that there was something bogus about his statement and decided to ask my mother if he was right.
My mother, having read and re-read Pippi Longstocking out loud to me, was justifiably horrified and, despite our dismal finances, swiftly bought me a pair of jeans. Also, I was allowed to stay up and watch McCloud, but I think I fell asleep.
29 years later, I find myself perfectly capable of handling a power drill, I singlehandedly painted our living room with the 13ft high ceilings and built a functional albeit unsightly desk.
But what if my mother had said: "Yes, Benjamin is right, girls cannot wear jeans."
Would I have grown up thinking that there are things that a girl cannot wear? Would I have thought that there are things that girls cannot do? What are the things we tell little boys they shouldn't do or wear? Why?
Incidentally I ended up knitting a beanie and printing a t-shirt with cuddly little bunnies for the boy. Now, if I could just teach The Husband to knit we could make all the Christmas gifts this year...It may be April but it is never too early to start planning I say...
But giving this particular t-shirt to this particular 1 year old boy would have been pointless.
Not only because his parents are really not the kind of people who need my self righteous gender lesson - after all the father is on a six month paternity leave - but because the point, I fear, would have been lost upon just about everyone.
And, really, a birthday present should never be about making a point, a gift should always be joyous and heartfelt.
It is just sad that little boys are not allowed to be fairies, they can only be mythical creatures if they are valiant and kill someone in the process. At the same time, we all know that a boy who is a fairy is gay - oh! The Horror! Personally I would rather my son turn out to be gay than a murderer, but hey that is just me.
The socially constructed gender categorizes children before they can even say their own name. Girls are sweet and soft, boys are rough and tumble and that is the way it should be. Except, are they?
When I was four years old there was a real bully, Benjamin, in my kinder garten who told me that girls could not wear jeans nor watch McCloud. Up until that moment I hadn't really thought about either one of those options. Luckily, I felt that there was something bogus about his statement and decided to ask my mother if he was right.
My mother, having read and re-read Pippi Longstocking out loud to me, was justifiably horrified and, despite our dismal finances, swiftly bought me a pair of jeans. Also, I was allowed to stay up and watch McCloud, but I think I fell asleep.
29 years later, I find myself perfectly capable of handling a power drill, I singlehandedly painted our living room with the 13ft high ceilings and built a functional albeit unsightly desk.
But what if my mother had said: "Yes, Benjamin is right, girls cannot wear jeans."
Would I have grown up thinking that there are things that a girl cannot wear? Would I have thought that there are things that girls cannot do? What are the things we tell little boys they shouldn't do or wear? Why?
Incidentally I ended up knitting a beanie and printing a t-shirt with cuddly little bunnies for the boy. Now, if I could just teach The Husband to knit we could make all the Christmas gifts this year...It may be April but it is never too early to start planning I say...
posted by disinterpreter at 11:03 AM
4 Comments:
That T-Shirt rocks! I'm the kind of person that would wear it to make a point. With my hot pink guitar in tow. It is kind of sad that we make gender distinctions. I try to make them only for individuals. For example, I might suspect that a 5 foot tall, 95 pound woman might have trouble moving around at 200 pound 55 gallon drum of chemicals (actually ran into that situation). But then again, I would suspect the same thing of a man that size.
I think there are some inherent differences in personalities between boys and girls, but we should encourage individual strengths, not simply take the "Oh, girls can't do this" or "boys can't do that" approach.
Unfortunately they didn't have it in grown up sizes...but I'll keep my eyes open!
My daughter is 6, and so far she owns more trucks/cars and blocks than Barbies. She still looks cute in a lime-green sundress, though.
Sex-role stereotypes are stupid.
On the other hand, I wish she would stop surprising me from behind with moves she's learned from pro wrestling.
spinetingler!
LOL. Yeah, teaching children martial arts moves can backfire...
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